


To sleep, perchance to dream

by Fanfic_or_bust



Category: Runaways (TV 2017), gertchase
Genre: Canon Compliant, Canon Continuation, Chase wakes up in the van, Cuddling, F/M, I hope you like it!, Mutual Pining, Pining, Sharing a Bed, chase is in love, explains how they came to be holding hands in the van, mention of karolina, mostly chase processing the last day, so is gert but he doesn't know it, they love each other they're so dumb, thinking about gert, this is my first gertchase fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-13
Updated: 2018-01-13
Packaged: 2019-03-04 04:03:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,771
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13356102
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fanfic_or_bust/pseuds/Fanfic_or_bust
Summary: Chase wakes up in the van to find Gert very close to him, and he finally has time to process the events of the past day. In a world that is falling apart at the seams, it's amazing how together he feels as he lies there with her next to him.





	To sleep, perchance to dream

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first Gertchase fic and I'm simultaneously so excited and so nervous! I hope you guys like this! I've been shipping them since the first episode, but I watched the last two episodes the other night and I've been obsessed ever since. I've been reading just about every fic I can get my hands on and just had to add something of my own to the tag so I kind of threw this together today on a whim :) Just an FYI I am thinking as a general rule, I'm going to AU age them up to 18 in this fic, but everything else is canon compliant. I haven't delved into any majorly adult content (yet) but it's a minor change that makes me more comfortable writing the scenes. Hope you understand!

              As everyone else slept, exhausted by the events of the past few days, Chase laid awake. He’d awoken as Gert shifted in her sleep, turning towards him, her hand finding its way to his chest, her fingers softly curling in. At first, without thinking, half asleep and exhausted, he’d forgotten about her words earlier that night and had cupped his hand around hers, softly brushing her knuckles with his thumb. He’d smiled, half asleep, and was just about to drift back off when her thick hum of contentedness seemed to jolt his mind back into action and he remembered what had happened earlier. How she had rejected him.

              And then he began to panic. She was asleep, she hadn’t chosen to hold his hand. She wouldn’t want this. She hadn’t _consented._ And that’s when he jerked his hand away like it had been burned, returning it to his side. Consent was the most important thing, and Gert was an _activist_ … if he ever wanted her to… to think of him the way he hoped she’d think of him, one day… He couldn’t have her waking up and thinking he’d taken advantage of her exhaustion.

              And yet he couldn’t bring himself to move her own hand off of his chest. He wanted to, well not _wanted_ to, but he felt he should. And yet he let it lay there, the weight and warmth of it setting his body aglow, her fingers curling down to touch his heart, and he wondered if its pounding would wake her up on its own. He couldn’t seem to slow it down, her proximity just lit up his senses, set his heart to racing. It didn’t help that memories of the night before were still fresh in his mind. He could still feel the ghost of her touch on the back of his neck, the silkiness of her slip on his fingertips, still feel the rush he’d felt as he realized what she wanted, that she wanted _him._

              But that was then, and now she didn’t. Even if Nico said she did, Gert had told him otherwise. And he had to respect that. Even if it was tearing him up from the inside out to be this close to her and not to be able to wrap his arms around her. He’d briefly thought about doing it anyway, pretending it had happened while he was sleeping. She was the one who’d laid next to him, after all. But that would be dishonest, and Chase never wanted to be dishonest with her ever again.

              He’d already been lying for years. To Gert, to all his friends, both real and fake, to his parents, but also to himself. He lied about his intelligence, to fit in. He lied every time someone found a bruise that shouldn’t have been there. And he’d lied about his feelings for Gert. For as long as he’d had them, which was about as long as he could remember. He’d lied so well he’d actually believed himself, successfully pushed her from his mind. Focused on girls that he’d be expected to date like Karolina. Because that’s all he was, a walking stereotype. And every time he’d find his mind straying to Gert, he’d remind himself that that’s all she saw him as. A poster boy for privilege. A dumb jock. That’s all he’d ever be to her so he might as well forget about her. And maybe that was for the best.

              It had been easier since the group split up, after Amy… he still didn’t like to think about it. But a few weeks ago everything had changed, and suddenly Gert was back in his life, wanting to spend time with him, wanting to help him in Spanish… God that was so embarrassing. Just remembering that moment was almost enough to wash the warm glow of Gert’s warmth away, he’d been so mortified. Yes, it was nice to have a reason to speak with her again, but she already thought he was stupid, he hated to give her even more proof of it.

              Since then, it had all been downhill. He’d known he’d been done for since the moment in her parents’ lab. They’d been joking around and things had been great, but then there was a moment. A defining moment. They had thought they were about to be eaten by a dinosaur, as absurd as it sounds, and they’d hugged, out of relief. But there was something in that moment that had sparked the fire in his heart that had once before burned for Gertrude Yorkes, and once that fire was relit it didn’t seem like it would ever go out again. Not if the group was getting back together. Not if he couldn’t just distance himself from her again and pretend she didn’t exist anymore.

              And truth be told, he didn’t want that to happen. Not anymore. Even if he had to burn with unrequited feelings for the rest of his life, he would put up with it, just to be around her. He was a better person when Gert was around. She taught him things, things he should know but he didn’t. She impressed him, every time they spoke. With her fierceness, her intelligence, her _conviction_. It wasn’t just about being beautiful, which she was, but she was also _brilliant._

              And he didn’t deserve her. No part of him deserved her. And she didn’t deserve to be sucked into the superficial world he had found himself surrounded by at school, not that he thought she ever would let herself be. But he didn’t have to worry about _that_ anymore at least. That world was well and truly gone, and it felt like it was already a million miles away. They’d only been on the run a day but he already felt years older than he had just days before.

              It was strange, how removed he already felt from his old life. He’d felt it, at the dance, but now it was different. It felt more permanent. To think that it had been only a number of days since he’d been chasing _Karolina_ around, his only care in the world being his parents’ murderous crypto-organization. It all seemed so small now. Distant. To think he’d ever feel nostalgic for the days when he’d only been concerned about his parents being monsters, he’d never believe it.

              But here they were, hidden in a van, on the run. The world could end any minute. They’d been framed for murder and kidnapping. The stakes had been raised to a level he hadn’t known existed before now. He should be crumbling under that knowledge, that pressure. But he wasn’t. Because he had his friends, his _family_ there with him. And he had Gert. She was safe, she was with him. And her hand was currently laying over the heart that belonged to it.

              That thought filled him up, and he felt some of the anxiety slip away and his body relax. It was hard, finally being alone with his thoughts. Everything had been moving so fast, he hadn’t really had time to think before now. He’d just been reacting, and _running._ He had barely had a chance to think about bigger picture problems like the potential destruction of the state of California, let alone his feelings for Gert and the events that had taken place at the dance…

              He really should remember to thank Karolina, when he got a moment alone, for being so standoffish while he pursued her. It had been so damn stupid. He hadn’t really liked her, he just knew that he _should_ like her. She was beautiful and kind and he knew her so well, she was a good person. So of course he had liked her, but just… never in the right way. But if she’d reciprocated, they probably would have ended up dating, and his heart would never have truly been in it. A part of it would always belong to Gert. So it would have been wrong of him. He would have always been emotionally cheating, and he was eternally grateful that Karo had saved him from himself and prevented him from ever being _that guy._

              And if he’d been with Karo, the dance… everything that had happened with Gert… that would have never happened. And that thought was just too awful to entertain. That had been the best night of his life, even though it was simultaneously the worst. And it was more than the sex, though that had been life changing too. It was the way Gert had opened up to him, in a way she never had before… she’d allowed herself to be vulnerable, to be honest. And even though it had broken his heart to hear that she had felt that way, it had brought them together. At least for those beautiful, perfect moments.

              The thought of what had happened _after_ , well, that left him with less of a warm glow and more with a blazing fire that ran through his limbs and to his loins. The way she’d opened herself to the moment, the way they had kissed with wet, hot, reckless abandon, the feel of her hands running along his chest and down, _down._ The heat of her skin on his skin…

              No, he couldn’t think of that now! But now that he’d thought of it, he could think of nothing else, and he felt himself harden at the memory of the way she felt, the way she _made_ him feel. And of course Gert chose that moment to murmur contentedly and roll further towards him, the hand on his chest wrapping around him, pulling him tighter as she shimmied her head to rest on his shoulder. His right arm had been under his head, but now he lowered it so that she could rest her head more comfortably, and he had no choice really but to wrap it around her. Or that’s what he was telling himself at least.

              For a moment, Chase laid still and allowed Gert to nuzzle in, to settle and fall back asleep, just hoping to god she didn’t wake up to find him laying here, arm around her with zero consent and a massive hard-on. And if she did, he hoped to god she wouldn’t hate him forever. For a short while, he thought he was safe. She settled, he felt his heart rate lower from wild to just racing, and he began focusing on willing the erection away. Though that was pretty damn hard with the girl he loved snuggled up against him, the weight and warmth of her body not letting him forget for a moment the intimacy they had shared just the day before.

              And then the unimaginable happened. First she started smacking her lips, then murmured sleepily as she shook her head back and forth, and Chase froze. His eyes probably looked like saucers as he stared up at the white ceiling of the van, praying for her to fall back asleep. Praying for his hard on to go away. But of course she didn’t. And of course it didn’t. After a few moments, she finally spoke, her voice just barely a whisper.

              “Ch—Chase?” She muttered in question, still not fully awake. But then, “Chase!” She repeated, her voice laced with shock and, was it embarrassment? “Chase, I—I’m so sorry… did I roll over in my sleep?” She asked, and taking a deep breath, Chase moved his eyes from the ceiling and down until they met with hers. And even in the dark, they took his breath away.

              “Yeah, don’t worry, it’s okay…” He said, his voice soft and hushed, hoping not to wake anyone else. He fought the urge to touch her, or to rub her in comfort with the arm that was already around her. It felt wrong, not to cherish her in his arms like this, to pull her in, to kiss her head, and to tell her she never needed to apologize to him again. But he held off for her. And so he waited for her reply.

              “It’s, I didn’t mean to—I’m sorry, I can…” She replied, hesitantly lifting her head just a bit. “I can move…” She offered, her voice a breathy whisper, though he got the distinct impression she didn’t want to. And Goddamn Chase didn’t want her to either. So he worked up his courage and replied.

              “You can stay—If you like, I mean, if you’re comfortable.” His eyes hadn’t left her the entire time, searching for the answers he was looking for, and she had been holding the gaze, her expression soft and vulnerable in the dark of the night. His words were a welcome, but his eyes were a plea. Or he hoped they were. Because he needed her to stay. He needed it like he needed air in this moment. He needed her to know he wanted her to stay. But he didn’t want to come on too strong, to make her uncomfortable.

              She seemed to hesitate. Like her heart was telling her to stay but her mind was telling her to pull away. “Won’t it be uncomfortable? I mean, this is so cliché… talk about heteronormative.” She whispered, trying to talk herself out of it, and Chase couldn’t help but smile. Classic Gert.

              “You know I know what that word means now, because of you.” He said, not really addressing her concerns, but she smiled anyways and he felt a wave of warmth wash over him as she did. She was so close, and as the moment stretched on Chase found the urge to kiss her almost impossible to fight. So he decided to say something more, to stop himself from leaning down. He had to have self-control or he didn’t deserve her anyway. “I wouldn’t mind, I wouldn’t be uncomfortable.” He finished, reassuring her, waiting with bated breath for her reply. But there was only silence, she wasn’t answering. So out of desperation he added, his voice barely more than a breath, hoping it wasn’t too forward, “I’d like you to stay.”

              And those must have been the right words, because a shy smile bloomed on her beautiful face, the normally soft lines a sharp relief with the shadows cast across her in the dim light that filtered in through the van’s windshield. She nodded once, bowing her head briefly before looking back up at him with big eyes, biting her lip just slightly. “Yeah, okay.” She agreed, and then she curled down, settling into the nook of his shoulder, and he wrapped his arm around her again, tentatively, laying his hand over her ribs. It felt intimate… but right.

              “Is that alright?” He asked, and she looked up at him, and shyly nodded once, trying to hide her smile.

              “Yeah,” She replied, before bowing her head again and pressing her cheek gently against his chest, just below his shoulder, nuzzling a little to get comfortable. In her effort, she wrapped her free arm around his middle, her hand laying limp over his side. Chase felt a smile spread over his face and breathed in deeply, trying to bask in the glowing feeling that she caused in him. It was just like the old cliché… butterflies. But in the best possible way. And they exploded into action when she added, a whisper said into his chest that he wasn’t even fully positive he heard, “This is nice…”

Suddenly bolstered by the soaring feeling in his heart, he smiled widely as he adjusted slightly underneath her to curl in towards her body, just a little, before boldly bowing his head to kiss her gently on the top of her head. He wasn’t sure but he thought he felt her exhale in a hum as he did, and the thought gave him confidence, and peace. A calm and happiness he didn’t think was possible, the way his worried mind had been racing just moments ago. “Night Gert.” He whispered into the night, and he thought he felt as much as heard the contented hum he received in response.

But now he felt the heavy call of sleep, his eyelids began to droop and that pleasant falling feeling was just about to take him away. His final thoughts were of Gert, thinking she had already drifted off and the thought made him happy. And just before he followed, he lifted his hand and cupped it around hers. And the last thing he felt as his dreams pulled him away from the world was her fingers curling around his own.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading, I hope you liked it! I can't wait to hear what you guys thought, do you want more?


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